April 23, 2020 – Childhood and Peace

As I write this blog, I find myself attempting to write an entry that deals with normal events, such as the harbingers of spring, small celebrations and other activities that I took for a granted just a little over a month ago. Yet in the background, the presence of this virus, the changes in my life are still there and I have struggled with a post this time.

My family and myself, we are in a good space, with minimal change to our way of life. Yet there are times when I am struck by the enormity of what has happened, of the problems and heartache of other families and I feel guilt about our good fortune. I read someone today who shared they feel a survivor’s guilt for not being impacted as much and that thought described a part of what I’m feeling at times.

Most of the time, I am doing fine, continuing to work, perform activities at home and taking life a day at a time. I’m not surprised at these moments, which doesn’t make them easier. At times I feel like I’ve returned to childhood, with a loss of control over what I can do and where I can go. Yet part of adulthood is learning that control over life is something that is magically granted, even though it looks like that to children. I work to focus on those positive parts of childhood, of living in the moment, appreciating and showing love to those I care about and seeing the wonder in so many things around me.

Pictures by J.T. Harpster, prints and other items with his photos can be purchased at