Earlier this year I developed a schedule for blog posts. If things had gone well, I would have written and published a post about spring in the spring time. I had planned on returning to topics that I like to write about, even if it seems repetitive.
The year has not gone well, at least for my writing schedule.
There are many reasons, and they tend to sound like excuses to myself. I have to remind myself that I am working to treat myself well and not over commit to projects. This takes practice, I think I’m getting better, but well, there are some things I need to change so I can do better.
Right now there is a part of me that wants to get angry at my past self for not keeping up with all of the obligations I put on myself. Or depressed and considering myself inadequate at writing while I wonder why I try to keep up with it.
Instead, I’m choosing to take some time to write this article, with a different tone, and to keep moving forward. Could I have done better in my planning, probably so. I’d rather use the energy in my writing instead of using it on something I cannot change. The events are in the past, only memories, so it is best to let go of that anger and keep moving forward.
Not the easiest thing in the world, it is much easier to get angry and upset, or to go ahead and be unhappy that I didn’t do as much as I wanted to. In the end, the article would still be unwritten and I would feel bad. It is too easy to blame my past self and to continue not moving forward just because I can.
Where possible I want to let go of these feelings. I won’t succeed all of the time and there will be times when I am angry or depressed and I can’t just let go of the feelings. There are big events and issues that are part of my life that won’t be fixed by just thinking them away. Sometimes there are issues that I can work through and where I can I am changing my attitudes about what my past self has or has not done.
So enjoy these pictures of spring, taken by my son and delivered on time for my planned article. I am also including some pictures of paintings I did in the last year. Painting has been another creative release for me, something I need to remember when I am disappointed about my writing output.
Pictures by J.T. Harpster, prints of selected photos can be found at our Redbubble shop
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